Guest Post : The Families Already Sitting in Our Churches

SBC Disability Task Force

Bryan Barrineau is Family Pastor at Fruit Cove Baptist Church. He has been involved in family ministry for over 20 years. He is a strong advocate for disability ministry. Read this and be blessed.

This is part 8 of a series on the SBC Disability Ministry Task Force report, which will be delivered at the SBC in less than 2 weeks. Be sure to check out my other articles to get a sense of why this report is so important.

Photo by Nagesh Badu on Unsplash

A lot of churches think they don’t have a disability ministry, often imagining it only as big, formal programs at large churches. But that misses the main point. Disability ministry isn’t about size. It’s about noticing and including families who are already part of our churches but may feel left out. When we assume only bigger or better-equipped churches can do this work, we lose sight of what really matters.

Families affected by disability are already part of our communities, and there are more of them than most churches realize. The SBC Disability Ministry Task Force Report says about 15–20% of people live with some kind of disability, but these families are still underrepresented in many churches. Joni and Friends calls families affected by disability the largest unreached people group in the United States, and I agree. This gap is not just a challenge. It’s also a chance for churches to show more compassion, build deeper relationships, and better reflect the heart of Christ.

That opportunity is often already right in our pews. Most churches know people with disabilities in their congregations. What they may not realize is what those families are quietly dealing with. Many people go through life without ever sharing their struggles, not because the church did something wrong, but because they never felt safe enough to speak up.

I understand that silence personally. Our family lives with neurodiversity, and after our son’s diagnosis, it took us years to talk openly about it with our church family. It wasn’t because we lacked community, but because being vulnerable is hard and the risks felt high. As my church’s pastor, I worried about what people would think when they saw my son’s behavior. Only as we grew in Christ did we find the confidence to share what God was doing in our home and what he was teaching us through it. That kind of silence is a real barrier, and it’s more common than most churches realize.

One of the most encouraging recommendations in the task force report is for churches to intentionally identify leaders and families in their congregations who are already affected by disability. This matters because it changes where we start. Disability ministry doesn’t begin with creating a new program. It starts with paying attention, learning people’s names, and listening to families. It means recognizing that God has already placed these people in the care of the local church. Many churches are already doing more right than they realize.

The report talks about physical and social barriers, and churches often think first about buildings and equipment. Those things are important. But the barriers families face most often are relational and emotional, like fear of embarrassment, fear of judgment, worry that their child is a distraction, or concern about tiring out volunteers. If these fears aren’t addressed, they build up. Over time, families may quietly wonder if it would be easier not to come at all. This isn’t about rebellion. It’s about exhaustion and slowly losing hope. I’ve seen that small acts of grace can make a big difference. These might be a volunteer patiently sitting with a child, a pastor remembering a family’s story months later, a church member talking directly to a teenager, or a ministry leader adjusting expectations instead of showing frustration. These moments are about more than just making accommodations. They show dignity, patience, and belonging, and often they show the love of Christ more powerfully than anyone realizes.

The task force also encourages churches to make disability inclusion part of evangelism, discipleship, fellowship, and service for everyone—children, teenagers, and adults. This wording is important. No one who cares about this work wants to create separate spaces off to the side. The goal is for people with disabilities to be active participants in church life, not just recipients of a program. It’s about helping families see church as a place of grace, not judgment, and recognizing that every member has something valuable to offer.

Many churches hear about this and quickly feel overwhelmed, thinking they don’t have the expertise, staff, or budget to do it well. But most families aren’t asking churches to be perfect right away. They just want to know if the church is willing to love them enough to learn. Honestly, most churches are closer than they realize. Learning names matters. Listening to parents matters. Reducing shame matters. Patience and flexibility matter. And it’s important to remember that these families are not problems to solve. They are beloved members of the body of Christ, created for his purposes.

That’s why this conversation goes beyond just disability ministry as a category. The task force report sees a big opportunity to reach families with the hope of the Gospel. But before many churches can reach out, they may need to realize that many of these families are already there, sitting quietly in the pews on Sunday morning, hoping someone will notice.

When churches start to really see people, they begin to love them more intentionally. That’s where belonging starts.